Misery

Why is it that we crave to feel depressed every once in a while? Have you noticed that sometimes when everything is going just fine, you have that sudden craving to feel bad and wallow in self pity? And you go ahead and do it and make life as blue as possible and make everyone around you feel just the same ( or at least the ones close to you )....
You purposely say things you might not actually mean, but you say it anyway, in the spur of the moment as you want to feel miserable and make the other person feel just as blue as you... Isn't it sadistic to some extent ( a huge extent rather )? I mean, wanting to feel blue is fine.. Go ahead and do it, by all means.. Its your mood after all.... But then ruining the mood of someone else, just so that u may feel slightly more depressed than what you already are.. Is that right?
But you know what? Its fun to some extent.. When you are in that 'low' state, feeling all the more down in the dumps is an amazing experience.. Its kind of similar to feeling high.. When you are high, you just want more and more of it, its almost as if you cant get enough of what you already have.. Its like an obsession..You start plotting ways to do something drastic, you start having these visual fantasies where you're helpless or tied down by something and where you don't tell the other person.. And then you visualise their reaction once they find out and how hurt and upset they will be, and you feel more miserable ( the happy kind of revenge taking miserable )..

Two minds..

There are times when you really want something, really want it bad... But then you aren't able to do anything about it, rather you shouldn't as its a waste of time when u think about it practically and not emotionally.... Its frustrating, right?

You know that without it, everything you're doing seems to be incomplete, yet at the same time you know that it isn't that big a deal.. The irony of the situation is, on one hand, almost makes you want to laugh at your own stupidity and your need for that 'thing'.. However on the other hand you're shocked at your loose control over your emotions and you know that you're wasting precious time thinking about it..

Why do we have these exasperating decisions to make? Why is it that we are unable to come to a decisive conclusion about where we should channelise our energy and thoughts? Frustration builds, over the fact that we need the 'thing', and over the fact that we cant control or stop that thinking..

What should one do about it? Which out of the two minds is the right one?



p.s.: I have often wondered about what I should think about... Should I think about the 'thing' or not? I know for sure that if i think about the 'thing', I'll curse myself not being able to stop thinking about it. If i try not to think about it, i cant help but think.. See ( first out of the two thoughts ), if I dont want to think about the 'thing', one half of my head will be telling me " the 'thing'.. the 'thing' ", and the other half, " do not think about the 'thing' ".. And at the same time ( second of the two thoughts ) if I want to think about the 'thing', I know I shouldn't be thinking about it as I know its pointless.. Its confusing, really... I'm in two minds over the two minds I was in, initially...

And i apologise for confusing the crap out of you..

Why is it such a big deal....

Is it necessary that every single action of our's be judged? Everything we do.. Right from typing out a simple mail to what we wear... From the books you read to the people you talk to... From what you say to what you think...
Why?
Why is it that being average just isn't good enough? Not everyone is born a genius, and not everyone who tries to become one becomes.Several people i know are 'below average', but they matter a hell lot to me. Its whats inside you that matters. Its whats in your heart that finally counts. Why is it such a big deal if one uses cliches?
Right now all of you reading this will be scrutinising the English, grammar, spellings, sentence construction of this blog. Gosh, just let it be. You do not judge a person by what they say or write.. There's more to a human being than all that. Why judge them?
Why is one judged when they speak whats on their mind? When they want to talk to someone who matters to them? Why is it such a big deal when one is selfish once in a while?
Why is it such a big deal if i am contradicting myself in everything that i am saying?... It isn't that big a deal.. really, it isn't....