What was I thinking?......

Look at me,
I've lost the ability to judge right from wrong...
Please show me the right way,
Teach me where to draw the line, real hard and strong...

I didn't realise I what I was doing,
I didnt pause to think and wonder why...
I was so caught up in feeling good,
I never realised I was making someone cry...

Right now I'm feeling lost and empty inside;
I feel like a cold shell that has no emotion...
I don't think I deserve what I have,
My life feels like it's going in slow motion...

I can't seem to digest why I did what I did;
Now when I recollect, it feels so not like me...
What posessed me into doing it ,
I know I won't be able to answer this completely...

Back then I wasn't thinking,
I didn't even pay attention to the sin I was committing...
I was nodding and agreeing,
Not realising that I should instead be quitting...

You know what I've realise now,
You don't need to look any further for a complete loser...
If you want to find someone who has been cheap and crappy twice,
Just look at me - the greatest 'Faith, Love and Trust Abuser'....

Lost In Translation.......

Hold my hand, inside your hands,
I need someone who understands...
The storm doesn't seem to recede,
To push me over, it succeeds.

Fast disappearing is the horizon,
I plead with the wizened man's son..
How do I get rid of the shackles all around,
I can't even seem to hold my ground.

Lies, secrets, disappointments overflow,
Shall I give it back, quid pro quo?
Sometimes all you get is emptiness,
When all you want is for some things to make sense..

Purple smoke, forms circles and colourful patterns,
I feel light, comforted, and take a spin on the rings of saturn..
Round and round I go, leaving the world behind,
Content and satiated, answers I think I will find..

What Is Wrong With...

What

What is wrong with SPL? More importantly, what is wrong with SPL's neighbours???

What is wrong with the NOP committee? BUM? Seriously??

What is wrong with SPL's politicians?

(I'll be using cross referencing terms so that I don't land into any sort of legal trouble..)

First of all, I'll address the issue that has my blood boiling. How dare FMC1 (the first neighbouring country I'm going to talk about) intrude in SPL's state of affairs? What gives them the bloody right to take Spl's land, push SPL's borders, and the most pissing-off thing of all, distribute maps to journalists where an integral part of SPL is shown as a separate nation??? WTF!! I mean, how dare they? I would use words that suit my mood, but then I think my blog will be banned, so I'll try my best to refrain.. (However I have used choice abbreviations that do calm me a little...)

Second of all, how dare FMC2 pretend to be fighting a war against some terrorist organisation? If you want my take on this whole "war" thing, they're just faking it to get the sympathy of the whole world, and to get more "aid" to fight against this organisation. While in reality they're just eating up this money to strengthen their ties with that group... How blind can the whole world get?

Now, coming to SPL.. Seriously, why does SPL always, and I mean, always, lie down and take all the sh** that is thrown at it, and whine about it later on? SPL seems to be really spineless… "We are displeased".."We express our deep concern".. "We strongly disapprove of their actions".. Ok, if it feels so strongly against something, why does it let those people repeat their actions, again and again and again? The military cargo planes crossing its air space? The pushing of borders? The "concern" shown by FMC1 about elections going on in ST? Hello!!!!

Now, NOP.. Thought to be a sensible committee.. However it goes ahead and Selects BUM for peaceful intentions (*snort* yeah right).. BUM's country is aiding FMC2 in their war against terror (is that just very peaceful???) If you ask me, SPL's Prime Minister should have gotten the award for dealing with neighbours like FMC1 and FMC2.

SPL's politicians are known for their corruption.. What saddens me is the fact that they do this despite knowing that there is no money in the country to feed the poor, the poverty stricken masses, the hungry.. They do this despite knowing the fact that if the money was utilised properly, the army wouldn't be feeling resentful against the government, and military personnel wouldn't be retiring left, right and centre.. They do this despite knowing that if they were less selfish, the country would be able to deal with any neighbour, any calamity, any threat.. Just about anything...

What is wrong with everybody....

Teacher's Day

5th September... A day I'm never going to forget.. A couple of things happened, which I never thought would, and I know for sure that those memories will remain etched forever in my mind..

There is this teacher I admire and respect.. Seriously, she was the only one who could control my class in school.. Bipasha Gupta :) The day she joined our school, she came to our class and all the guys hooted "basooooooooo". The look she gave and the way she spoke made even the most confident ruffian pee in his pants!! An amazing teacher. If she was scolding someone, he'd need to take a dictionary to understand what exactly she was yelling; so effortlessly the words flowed out of her mouth that it would leave anyone gaping..
She left school after I left, so when I visited school to meet some teachers, I didn't get to meet her. Guess what happened though.. I met her in Vashi, on the 5th, as I was coming out of a building. Man, I felt so good :) She even hugged me!!!

I take tuitions for 8th standard.. I didn't expect them to even wish me, what.. I'm a kid myself, and I think I'm a pretty strict teacher and I yell quite a bit.. So I was under the impression that they don't like me much.. But guess what happened? They came home on 5th (they didn't have tuitions that day) and they gave me gifts!! Can you believe that? Woah, I have never been so touched in all my life..

I hope they did it out of their own free will (I'd like to think they did :) )

Yem Bee Yay... and shopping.....

Eh machhaaan, eeyayeeyayeeyo...... :D

QGMurugan.. Watch it, I say... Too good, I say.. :) The tami'zh' dialogues are out of this world, I say.. And according to MBA Rowdy, dosa is made from toor dal, asafoetida and what not!!! What a recipe, he says....

However, on a more depressing note, I got bored shopping. Yes, its true, I did.. I went to Colaba the other day.. I enjoyed every aspect of the day that was not related to shopping!!
I enjoyed going to Cafe Leopold (where the bullet marks are still visible (yeah it might be a publicity stunt, but it still gave me the heebie jeebies)).. I mean, even though i shelled out a bomb for what I ate, I loved the place.. The ambiance, the food (simply yumazing, I say), the foreigners ;D..
I loved the Jehangir Art gallery (some pretty interesting paintings, I say). There was apparently some art exhibition going on, and me and my friend saw some 'funny' paintings (where a woman has a flame down there.. I guess its to symbolise the undying capacity of the womb or the fire within her or something)...Anyway, the two of us were in fits of laughter (in a very very silent museum, which had some very serious looking people in it), and we drew some angry stares!!
After that we went to the David Sassoon library.. Wow, it's so beautiful and old.. We eventually got kicked out as we were not members (and I think the people thought we were up to no good), but its a good library, I say..

I loathed, absolutely detested the shopping part of the day.. Walking in the rain, haggling, walking in the rain, searching, walking up and down in the rain, getting wet, oh, did I mention walking in the rain?.. sheesh.. And the best part is, at the end of the day, I didn't buy anything.. Total waste of a day, I say... I even went to fashion street after that - WORSHT, I say.. Do not go there if you can help it..

Linking Road, zindabaad... Now that's a good place to shop, I say.. Listen to me, and do not stuff your ears with Melody toffee, I say...

Ummm.... Huh? So much stuff....

It's been a loooong time... Well, let me see what has happened...

Swine flu attacked the country.. The government doesn't have enough Tamiflu to battle the virus, and it has also run out of H1N1 masks!! Need I say more? God save my country...

I saw Love Aaj Kal and Kaminey... Absolutely loved the latter, and the former was cute and not as bad as expected :)
Love Aaj Kal deals with a relationship that turns into an LDR, due to which the decide to call it quits.. You know, I agree with some of their thoughts... I mean, think about it.. You're in a relationship.. You're upset as the one you love isn't with you.. You're happy because you are in love.. But you're sad and depressed and the reason for your depression (which is due to all the fights and arguments and the distance and the separation and the decisions)is the reason why you smile and are happy, and that isn't with you.. An LDR is really complicated, I tell you.. Don't ever get into one, if you can help it..
Kaminey if fimply awefome... I loved the movie fo much that I have become a totla!!! Feerioufly.. Brilliant acting..

No rains in Bombay... Acute water shortage... (This wouldn't have caused me to be upset as *if I weren't in an LDR* to save water I'd have had a common bath with.. Oh, I digress here).. Coming back to the point.. People do not have water to drink, bathe, wash, go to the loo, or do anything... Some water storage unit near my place apparently caved in.. I remember going for a walk over that storage.. beautiful garden you know.. And in one place you could see the water below you.. Pretty creepy..

Also, I got my joining date.. Yaay!! Loads of shopping to do.... (Poor mom) :)

Ummm, what else.. Let me see... Abey yaar, mujhe kaam karna hai.. I should stop wasting my time.... Chalo folks... Some other time...

Movie Reviews

I've seen two movies this week.. And I've decided to give my honest and unbiased views on them.

HARRY POTTER 6
The biggest let down ever. I mean, you go to the theater expecting
a) loads of action (hello, there's a war at the end of the book) : you are sadly disappointed.. No war, no fighting, nothing exciting, nothing as fast as lightning.. Even the Sectumsempra curse fell flat on its face like Harry (I know Malfoy is supposed to fall flat on his face, but his acting is pretty good)..
b) good chemistry between Harry and Ginny : its sad. Daniel Radcliffe CANNOT kiss to save his life.. I mean, they should have re-taken the entire scene again and again and again until he got it right..
Rad made it so sad,
it made me want to go mad
and do something bad
to the lad next to my dad..
c) awesome special effects: nope.. Hardly anything worth mentioning here. Ok, the first scene where the camera follows the Death Eaters around London is pretty cool, but apart from that, there's hardly anything..
d) a good looking young Lord Voldemort: Oh God.. He looks okay-okay.. Nothing great, no hints of the hunk of a guy that he's supposed to be, no drop dead gorgeous looks, no drool worthy smile, no handsome features..
e) loads of stuff about Horcruxes: nope, absolutely nothing at all.. I mean, they use that word thrice in the movie (Hello, its supposed to be the central thing in the movie)..

On the whole, its a complete let down....

ICE AGE 3 (3D)
Now this is a movie you can watch more than once! Sid, Diego and Manny (along with the rodent) make you almost fall of your chair laughing.. Euphemisms, wise cracks, comments - you name it, the movie has it.. Not to mention Buck, a new Brit character who lives in the world of dinosaurs!

I will not divulge too much and take away all your fun. My thoughts are : watch it, and if you feel the need of some company, I'm right here!!!

Reason to Smile

Until today, for the past one week or so I haven't had any reason to smile.. No reason to exercise any of the eighteen muscles responsible for it.. However 2 days back (i.e. the 15th) and today gave me reasons to smile..
15th.. My, what an awesomely amazing day.. Have you ever had a dream and then suddenly had it fulfilled without any expectations of it happening? Well, that happened to me the day before..
I've always dreamed of holding a Les Paul (playing it was a distant dream!).. I've dreamed of singing for a band.. I've dreamed of playing the drums.. I've dreamed of singing like Axl Rose on a mic along with the amazing guitar riffs that go with Sweet Child 'O Mine..Well, Wednesday fulfilled all these dreams :) I went to a friend's place as it was a common friend's birthday.. As I entered his bedroom, the first thing that caught my eye (apart from Slash's poster on his wall) was the fact that his room looked like a mini studio - with a drum kit, mics, amplifiers and electric and acoustic guitars.. I thought I had walked into my favourite fantasy.. I played on a Les Paul electric guitar.. I sang like Axl Rose.. I played on the drums.. I was the lead singer for a couple of songs!!! I was on top of the world.. I didn't want the day to come to an end.. Though it did, I still get shivers running down my spine every time I think of holding the solid, heavy, golden brown Les Paul.. *sigh* And after that we sat discussing what guys do when they have crushes and what girls do in the same situation: What do we think, What do we feel, Why does it matter so much of that person phones, Why is he giving me his/her phone number, How do I ask?, Does she/he think of me in that way?, Why did they say that?, What are they thinking?, Do they know I like them?.... It was fun analysing and dissecting the various thought processes that plague the minds of those who have recently fallen for someone... :)
Today I smiled because I got to talk to a person I cherish and value a whole lot.. I got to talk to that person after nearly ten days.. It felt good, it made me feel complete, and most importantly, it made me smile.. :)
Anyhow, I have to face the rest of the days without having miracles like this to brighten up my day.. I have to face the music (yeah right) and the harsh reality, the reality that my life isn't going anywhere, and that I'm going to be stuck at my home for the next month or so (I hope I get the news that it isn't going to be for longer than that, soon)..
Oh well, two days out of ten isn't that bad.. 20% is something to be cheerful about (yeah right)

Statutory Warning

The Before Pic:

They should probably put a statutory warning on stilettos.. I mean, seriously.. Do you know they can kill? Or cause temporary paralysis? Or that they can actually make you wish you didn't have ankles??

I made the huge mistake of wearing stilettos and roaming about in malls (note the plural). Good grief! At first me and a friend of mine were pretty proud of ourselves, we were walking without tripping, and we were walking like models and looked pretty tall and hot and awesome! Heads were turning, some were even gaping!! We were strutting our stuff!!! But then after a while, it started hurting. Ok, at that point of time it was nothing that we couldn't handle. But then a little while later, it was excruciating, seriously. Horrid- is the only word I can use to describe the experience of walking around in a mall in heels (3.5" ones that too)..

After a while we both realised that there was absolutely no point in walking around and slowly killing ourselves. So we removed the heels and walked around in the mall BAREFEET!!!! We entered Anita Dongre's (AND) store barefeet, we went to a shoe shop bare feet, we even left the mall and caught an auto with no slippers on!! At that point we didn't give a damn as to who saw us and what they were thinking.. All we could think of was how comfortable a flat surface felt, against the hot soles of our feet which had been kept at an incline of at least 45 degrees!!

Anyhow, right now I'm massaging my sore feet with ice cubes, and tending to several shoe bites on the soles of my feet.

Statutory warning - Wear At Your Own Risk, User's Discretion Is Advised.. Until and unless you are only going to sit, or maybe stand for a while, do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear stilettos. They can make you wish you didn't have feet at all...
Trust me

The After Pic:

I went to a Party - Anonymous

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
These are my final moments Mom,
and I'm so unprepared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?


Note: The author of this poem is unknown...
I remember listening to a girl recite it at a competition, and let me honestly tell you, I had a huge lump in my throat by the time she finished... This is one of my favourite poems... I still get goosebumps every time i read it...

Michael Jackson - A Tribute (not an awesome one, but the best I could come up with)

Somehow it’s hard to digest the fact that Pop music’s most erratic, crazy, wrongly accused entertainer is no more... Somehow writing about him won’t do much justice, not that I am trying to do that, but then I have always been of the belief that Michal Jackson was one helluva music composer and dancer, even though majority of the people thought he was a paedophile, a weirdo and a nut-job.

I mean, he revolutionised the music scene. What with his trademark “Red Leather Jacket”, the Moonwalk”, the moves, the grinds, the gyration, the songs... I remember watching a documentary where one woman was talking about being a teenager when Beat It released. She reminisced about how every second person in America had a red leather jacket just like the one he wore for the music video. And the dance moves, who can forget them? The pelvic thrusts, the stiff hand movements, the fast leg crossing... People still use his steps nowadays - it’s the stuff of legends...

It’s a shame that he was always targeted in the negative sense, and people chose to forget who he is and what he does... They started making judgement calls for absolutely no reason... Ok, I agree hanging your child from a balcony is extremely stupid, but then which celebrity hasn’t done asinine things?

Apparently he was coerced into singing as a child, into becoming a member of the “Jackson 5”. None of his brothers who were in the band enjoyed being in it, not one bit. I remember watching a TV show where Jackson told viewers about how he hated being in that ‘child’ band, about how their father forced them into doing it, about how he’d make them practise for hours at a stretch.. Probably all this had a psychological impact on the fellow...

But then when I sit and think about it, I hope he isn't dead and all this is a sham, a huge scandal.. It's a trifling sad he 'died' so suddenly of a heart attack, whilst speculations of skin cancer.. I just hope he isn't dead and this is all just a publicity stunt to get away from the media, from the maddening crowd and enjoy being a recluse and live happily in Neverland, forever... :)

Life Is Too Short...

Life is too short to be taken seriously. I mean, we spend so much time worrying about the past (something we cannot change no matter what we do), or being apprehensive about the future (again- something we have absolutely no control over). What we should do instead, is just enjoy life; take it as it comes. Make the most of 'now' :)
Life is too short to take things for granted. We all do: possessions, wealth, materialistic things, people, health, money etc., without realising that they can all be taken away, 'poof!', just like that.. Nothing is constant. The scene keeps changing. So what is the point in tearing our hair out, worrying about things that are going to change ? What we can do is enjoy what we have right now.. Enjoy the wealth we have, live comfortably, have a decent savings account, love fully and without any inhibitions, exercise to have a healthy body; live and let live.
I know this may sound philosophical, but everything is ephemeral when one sees the biggest picture :)
Life is too short to have regrets. The saddest words one can utter are "what if.." If something feels right, do it. Just do what your heart tells you to do. Do something wild, go indulge in delicious mouth watering cuisines, explore the world, colour your hair electric blue, get a tattoo, para sail/glide, bungee jump, scuba dive, dance like no one's watching, listen to loud music, scream at the top of your lungs - just go wild. You'll have awesome memories and no regrets!!
Life is too short to hold grudges. Forget and forgive. No point harbouring ill feelings towards the guy who snubbed you fifteen years ago :)
Life is too short, but whatever we do have - we can make the most of it and have a blast of a party!!

Six Yards of Allurement

A piece of fabric so intricately woven,
Graceful falls, elegant designs.
When adorned nothing need be spoken,
'Epitome of grace and beauty', it redefines.

Six yards of Silk, Georgette or Cotton,
Violet, blue, green, red, black or even burgundy.
Combining various shades of colours long forgotten,
It transforms her into an ethereal beauty.

A dash of eye shadow, a dab of lipstick,
A spray of seductive perfume.
The twilight flattering her lock's mystique,
Their peace of mind, she consumes.

The Saree is an exquisite enigma,
Making heads turn is its intent.
"Thou shalt intensify her beauty", its dogma,
Six yards of Glamour, Refinement, Shapeliness and Elegance, it represents.

On Mistresses...

Have you ever wondered why men cheat? Is it just a genetic thing? Is it a need for comfort? Or is it just a need to be satisfied, and just one partner doesn’t seem to be enough? Or is it the need for intellectual stimuli?

You never hear of a man cheating on his lover/spouse with someone who is extremely stupid. Generally the mistress is a smart, independent and vivacious individual. Usually the mistress is someone with whom he can talk to about his dreams, aspirations, goals, ambitions and desires. She is someone who understands as she is going through the same thing (if not already been through it). She is the person who is able to talk to him about their common desires, common goals. But she isn't the one who is there for him at the end of the day. She isn't the one who is ether to comfort him and remind him that there is always a tomorrow. However, she is the one with whom he is able to converse and think out loud about whether what he is doing is sensible or not.
The spouse/ lover on the other hand is the one who gives him physical, homely comfort. She is the one who makes sure he is comfortable when he comes home after a tiring day at work. She is the one who is supposed to cook for him. But she isn't the one who he thinks can understand what work he has, what he does, what is important for him. She isn't the one who knows what he goes through at work, as she isn't there. However, she is the one who is there for him, the one he gets to vent his frustration on, the one he can yell at when he has had a bad day at work.

So whom does he choose? Does it really matter? Can’t he have the cake and eat it too? Well, most of the time he does. That is, right until his conscience starts pricking him. Until he realises that he has to make a choice. Does he choose the one who meets his intellectual capacity? The one who shares his dreams and aspirations? The one who is smart and independent and wants to do the same things as him? Or does he choose the one who has always been there for him? The one he gets to come home to after a tiring day at work?

Really, the choice is slightly tough. But if one introspects closely, it really isn’t all that hard. All you have to do is give the right one the choice to be able to do everything the other is doing...